Getting there x
Ok so I am beating my fear and have took my anti de tonight, I would of took it last night but only had one left, (doctors defo tomoz) so I took it not long back. My fear is still there but I feel like its fading. I was lieing on my bed earlyer and was thinking about this last year I've had with anxiety. I haven't been out or had one bit of alcohol for nearlly a year, I only ever go to bingo and now and then the cinema. Which to be honest it doesn't bother me as I can't be done with hang overs and I will not drink while on anti des. Last year I was in such a state, panic attacks everyday, detached from my surroundings and crying all the time. At that point I thought i was stuck in the cycle of anxiety and just lay down either on the settee or in bed most the day. As time as gone on I know more about what anxiety is and what its like to live with. It is hard but nobody said that it was going to be easy. I am more myself these days,even thou I still have bad days and times when I'm feeling down. I have come along way with it, and my atitude most the time is wtf to it. I do still worry that if I miss to many of my tablets that i will be back at square one with it. That's when I start feeling down, but if I don't think that way I don't think I would feel down. I still have fears to overcome, but I'm just taking them day by day. I still get the anxiety symptoms but I haven't had an anxiety attack for mths. I know I've still along way to go but I will get there and be anxiety free. I have got posistive quotes on my bedroom wall still, but they do help and remind me to start my day postive. I am a postive person and I have never let anything drag me down for long, I always find away to come back up. I'm going to stop boring you all now, and have got to get back on the laptop to do more research. My little boy was said to have depraxsia and I've been told he could have abit of autism. I'm not searching google but am looking on the nhs site for it. Hope we all have a positve monday. I will be going to the doctors and whywhy coming with me as I get panicky in there. Love to u all xxxx